The Ceremony
Posted by: only1tcb on: January 10, 2010
Eros and I have been talking about marriage and we’ve both agreed that we want to be married to each other. Exciting! There has been no proposal. I have a feeling that it will come later this year. I know that Eros wants to make sure that he has secured a job before he would proposes and I totally understand and agree with that line of thought. Even knowing that I still can’t help but to wonder what kind of ceremony I want. I’ve always said that I would just go to the justice of the peace. It worked for my parents, so I have no reason to think that it would not work for me. However, lately I’ve been thinking that I want the whole shebang. You know the big church, the dress, and the big reception. I only plan on getting married once and I kind of want it to be a memorable event. But then I go back to what it is I really want…a marriage or a wedding?
On an intellectual level, I know that I want a loving devoted marriage. I want a life partner with whom I can build a life and you don’t need to spend a bunch of money to have that; but the little girl in me wants all the bell and whistles. The little girl in me wants to walk down the aisle in a beautiful white wedding gown to be given to my husband to be while the entire church gawks and whispers about how lovely I look. I want all eyes on me as I make the most important commitment in my life. I want to do one of those silly dances that are floating around the internet at my wedding reception. I want to share my happiness with all my family and friends…but Eros and I can’t afford it.
So that brings me to my question, is the ceremony really that important? We’re considering the concept of a standing reception because we really do want to share our day, but we don’t want to mortgage our future to do so. What kind of weddings and receptions have you attended? Have you ever been to a low key wedding that was tasteful?
7 Responses to "The Ceremony"
when the time comes, you can do a wedding that is tasteful and you don’t have to spend a lot of money. There are a lot of ideas out there, just explore your options! All the best. Looking forward to hearing more.
Congrats sis. You always show our blog love so I wanted to check yours out and see what it is you’re building on.
As for your potentially pending nuptials (I literally just crossed my fingers for you), I’d say focus on the marriage, F*** the ceremony. The ceremony can set you back a pretty penny and derail other efforts to build wealth. That wedding money could be home down payment cheese, or business start-up cash, and unlike a wedding you can leave both of those for your children.
Good luck!
Thanks Earpiece. I totally agree. I’ve heard of folks spending tens of thousands on weddings, only to get divorced a few years later.
My brother had a “low key” wedding that was amazing! There were about 50 people in the place, but it was the 50 most important to the couple. The ceremony was a mixture of Afrikan and Black American and “traditional” rituals. I want to get married like that!
The ceremony was geared toward blessing the marriage and NOT toward showing how fresh the bride looked in her dress, her ring, or how my brother looked. It was about the union, and I think that is often missed because we are trying so hard to have some perfect wedding that has nothing to do with sending off the couple on sure ground.
Low key is great, BUT keep in mind that the average amount someone spends on a wedding gift is $100. The least the couple getting married can do is buy their guests dinner – that’s my opinion.
Things are easier if it’s a wedding later in the day with the reception at the same venue. Then you’re not paying for two locations
Blondie…you clearly don’t know my family…$100 gift…heck even a $50 gift would be great…my family shows up hungry and empty handed.
1 | sdyhenry
January 10, 2010 at 11:14 pm
I’m sooo happy for you! Of course, the legal part is what counts. If you can avoid getting sucked into all the wedding spending drama, run the other way. No matter how grand your ceremony and/or reception it’s just a few hours of one day. Weigh your priorities as you consider what will truly make you happy.