11 Responses to "Number 4 –"
I probably would have gone to the Hard Rock, but I definitely would not have gone to a nicer lounge afterwards. I would have ended the date early.
I’m not good at hiding my emotions and he would have known I was disgusted by the look on my face.
I wouldn’t have demanded or hinted anything to him. He is a grown man and I am quite sure this was not his first date. Upon first meeting up with him within the first 1/2 hour if he couldn’t come up with a plan. I would have called it a nite… dropped him somewhere and took my behind home.
By him not having plans tells me he didn’t have any intentions of spending too much time or money on this meet-up.. Perhaps he was being cautious thinking that its been 17 years.. god knows what you could possibly look like at this point…. so he played it safe just in case he had to come up with an excuse to get away.
I wouldn’t waste my time with this one.
Heck……I would not have even asked where we were going. I think I would have just dressed slightly casual – casual chic I think they call it. Sounds like you were dressed appropriately. I have two perspectives on the first date outfit. 1. If I am not really sure if we are gonna hit it off (i.e. I’m not sure I am attracted to him), I don’t want to look so hot that I won’t be able to get rid of him later if I am not feeling him. 2. If I know he’s hot and I’m trying to ensure that he is hot for me, I will put in a little extra effort to seal the deal. As far as the preparations on his part, I would take it as a sign that he is not accustomed to really dating sophisticated women. Also, I would take the lack of preparation as a sure sign that he is not someone that I would be interested in going out with if I am looking for a real relationship.
I wouldn’t say anything to him in regards to his attire. However, him not having a game plan was not acceptable. I would drop him over that, not his wardrobe. =)
I have to agree with you. While the choice of attire is a clear indication that we have different views on what is appropriate; this can be easily fixed. What cannot be fixed is his lack of a plain. As you can imagine, his lack of a solid plan goes beyond dating. He doesn’t seem to have a plan for his life…that’s a problem! And a deal breaker.
OH NO! this sounds like every date I’ve ever been on. Ever. It is NOT cool to call your friends in the middle of the date because you don’t have a plan!
I wouldn’t have asked for a change in wardrobe, just would have hoped he felt stupid and underdressed while he was with me! And it speaks VOLUMES to me when a guy gets dressed nice and cleans his car to take me on a date. Otherwise, it says he doesn’t really care what happens, and THAT does not fly with me!
Right! I told him that his lack of preparation was an indication to me that he did not care.
This is not my style–having no idea what the plans are, but I wonder how the date came about. I mean, did you two sort of discuss hanging out, or did this guy ask you out on a date? It sounds like there was a miscommunication as to the nature of the get together. I hear women say they don’t like indecision (in general), yet they rarely make decisions about what they’d like to do and even get upset if the man doesn’t have any more of a plan than they do. I get that traditionally there are roles we play, but I just wanted to put that bit of double standard on display.
Needless to say, upfront communication is best. I typically try to find out what the woman’s interests are and tell her what my intentions are. If she’s cool with that, we go forward. If she has nothing to add or offer other than the desire to go out, she leaves herself open for a lot of mishaps. This certainly sounds like a mishap lol!
..Especially the calling his friends in the middle of the date? WTF!
I also want to encourage you to keep going! It’s inspiring and interesting to read how things are turning out. I’ve learned some wrongs and rights with reading your experiences!
1 | david
September 28, 2009 at 3:22 am
could only laugh when i read your post. quite challenging task-34 okay.. would hv loved to go on a date with u just to fufill ur dreams and listen to you. with rgds to 4, it’s so sad that he wasnt at all prepared to met smone he’d not seen in 17 yrs. he could hv made it splendid for u at most for seeking him out and making all those preps.
Next time, i think u shd be involved in d planning of ur outings and nt leave all d details to ur invites. it will help u hv a balance in how everyting goes. i must also say 4 didnt know wat to expect since u did all d calln n all. just hv fun kay and i wish u d bestest bday in january.
keep ur fingers crossed, u can make ur dreams come tru.
tots
David
only1tcb
September 28, 2009 at 1:01 pm
David – You may be right. Perhaps, I should have made the plans. I called myself letting him be the man by allowing him to make the plans for the evening. Besides I have not lived in Detroit for over 10 years, I figured he’d be better suited at selecting the location. I was wrong.